The May meeting of the Godllywood self-help group highlighted the importance of developing an attitude of appreciation and gratitude, rather than one of dissatisfaction and complaining, as these are essential attributes if women want to achieve excellence. The initiative, organised by the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God's (UCKG), Godllywood group, provides input for personal growth and helps women develop their potential, live more fulfilling lives and influence others positively through their Godly example.
The theme for 2016 is The Year of Excellence. Previous meetings have looked at defining goals, developing a humble attitude, self-confidence and self-discipline. The May meeting’s focus was on appreciation.
At the beginning of the meeting, women watched a video clip of a psychologist teaching stress management to an audience. Showing them a glass with some water in it, they were expecting the “is the glass half empty or half full?” question, but were asked “how heavy is this glass of water?” Answers varied before the speaker pointed out that the weight didn’t really matter but the longer it was held the heavier it became. The glass of water represented life’s stresses and worries and the lesson illustrated was the importance of putting the glass down before it became a burden.
Hostess and speaker Mrs Marcia Pires asked the thousands of women at the Johannesburg venue, as well as those in provinces throughout South Africa and neighbouring African countries who watched the meeting through live-streaming, to consider how they are coping with worries and troubles. She said: “The length of time we carry problems, concerns and challenges defines how heavy life is for each one of us. I invite you to set them aside now so that you can focus on the message of this meeting and benefit from the work God wants to do in your life.”
Appreciation was defined as: to be grateful, to give value, to take care of, and to express thankfulness. Mrs Pires said: A lack of appreciation is something which causes distress and friction in any relationship. Many people dwell on what they don’t have rather than what they have already achieved. We set goals that cannot be realised and we become frustrated with ourselves. We dwell on the difficulties and everything becomes a reason for complaint. Complaining becomes a habit but it isolates us from others who do not want to endure our negativity.
Giving examples, she mentioned that a matric student may complain that they have to study and have no social life instead of focusing on the bright side of completing the first stage of their studies and looking forward to the opportunity to choose a career and invest in their future. Single people complain that they are alone but when they are married they resent their responsibilities and complain about their partner’s bad habits rather than being grateful for their husband. Others long for a house but when they have a home they complain about the housework and cost of upkeep. Many complain when they are unemployed, yet grumble that they have to get up early to go to work when they find a job. These are all examples of people who focus on the negative rather than what they have received.
Once again relating the meeting’s message to Biblical examples, Mrs Pires reminded the women of the story of the Israelites who were freed from a miserable life of slavery in Egypt after 400 years. Travelling through the desert, God provided for all their needs and protected them day and night, but instead of acknowledging His provision for them and appreciating their freedom, they were dissatisfied and complained. As a result of this lack of appreciation, they had to wander in the desert for 40 years with many never reaching the Promised Land.
She said: “Without a spirit of appreciation, we focus on our adversities and fail to see God’s plan for our lives. To achieve excellence we need to develop an appreciative spirit and follow the Biblical command recorded in Philippians 2:14,16: To do all things without murmuring and disputing so that you shine as lights in the world. When we complain, we focus on negativity and feel weak and unable to face the situation. With an attitude of appreciation we stand out in our family or workplace and display excellence.”
Mrs Pires stressed the importance of showing appreciation to others, saying that if others receive appreciation they will appreciate you in return. Mothers have a responsibility to teach their children appreciation and should focus on the positive rather than saying their children could have done better. Positive reinforcement through appreciation from parent to child results in reciprocal appreciation from child to parent.
She said: In Genesis we read of God’s appreciation for His creation which was given to us for our enjoyment. Sadly, we do not appreciate what we have and pollute and destroy the environment. The greatest Biblical lesson of appreciation is that God called Abraham his friend, Moses his servant, and David a man according to His heart. God appreciated those Fathers of the faith. Today He calls you and me: His beloved, chosen, precious in My eyes, a chosen nation, a royal priesthood. The Almighty God has taught us appreciation through His example of first appreciating us. We should appreciate Him and all He has done for us.”
Acknowledging the importance of appreciation, Mrs Pires shared three tips on how to learn this attitude:
- What do you see? We need to make a choice about whether we will see the negative aspect (glass half empty) or the positive potential (glass half full). Pay attention to how you look at the situation.
- Your words and gestures. Start working on what you say. You have to put thoughts into words and express appreciation. Understand that those around you are trying to please you regardless of whether they achieve your expectations. Encourage them through positive words of appreciation. If your words and attitudes have been negative, work on changing them. By showing appreciation through your actions you teach others to be appreciative.
- Stop moaning and complaining. This is not a suggestion on how to correct a bad habit, but is a Biblical order to do things without complaining. When we work with pleasure we make more effort, receive more pleasure and enjoyment, and achieve excellence.
The meeting closed with Mrs Pires encouraging women to make a vow to stop this attitude of complaining and being negative, and to focus on the positive things in their lives. She said: “What we have is not our right. It is a gift from God. We should never take this for granted.”
Meetings are held on the third Saturday of the month at 11am at the Universal Church 25 Plein Street, Johannesburg. Everyone is welcome to attend.
For further information, please contact the church’s public relations department on 011 224 3447 or
pr@uckg.org.za
